Day 13 - January 3, 2013

(Today is brought to you by Aubrey)

Today has been a very difficult day. We came in this morning with the expectation that dad would be awake when we got here. When we left last night the plan with the doctor was that dad was going to be put on a day/night schedule. (off the sedatives during the day and on them at night to help him sleep).

Not only was dad not awake he was completely knocked out by sedatives. When asked why, the nurse said that she did not think that taking dad off sedatives was in dads best interest. She said that he was too active and she was concerned about his safety. I disagreed. I felt like she did not want to deal with a difficult patient so she decided to chemically restrain my dad. This led to a very aggressive conversation with the nurse and the doctor. Initially they agreed to decrease sedation, and they did. However the second my dad started to move they would increase the sedation again. Around 2:00 p.m. Dad was almost weaned off the sedative completely. They had to clean his trach then they were going to take him off all sedation. When I went back to see my dad not only had hey not taken him off the sedation, the had quadrupled his dose. When asked why, the nurse replied that he got agitated and that she was concerned for his safety. I struggled with trusting her decision to sedate my dad so much. She would not budge and would not answer my questions.

At that point we got the supervising RN and the patient services manager in to discuss my dad's care. The discussion did not go well. I was mad, i dont feel that they really listened, and they talked to me like I was a child. The meeting ended with the agreement to meet with the head of the nurses, doctors, and family tomorrow. In the mean time the plan was to keep my dad snowed with drugs. I was so mad I walked up and down stairs in the stairwell. I ended up walking up and down about 21 floors. I am sure that my legs will be very sore tomorrow.

Despite the fact that they heavily sedated by dad, he was still responding. He would still follow some commands, he could still tell the nurse he had to go to the bathroom. Tomorrow is a new day.

I am reminded of Mark chapter 4:27-28 - The Parable of the Growing Seed.

"Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head."

I trust that even though I can't see dads progress, God is working behind the scenes.